So what did I do? I grabbed my camera and went to take pictures!
You can see one bird on the rail.
Black Snake! He is big!
I started stomping around the deck trying to scare him away and he fell down, slithered under the grill and coiled himself under there for a while.
After calling several people, talking with my step-dad and animal control I finally got the courage to try to sweep him off the deck. But by then he had slowly slithered his way to the steps and was making his way down them S L O W L Y. I figured he was going and that was all that mattered and I didn't have to go near him. Now I'm just paranoid that I'll come across him while outside in the backyard. Yikes!